I’m having to learn a rather painful lesson right now. And, just for the record, it sucks. I’ve heard people say before that they don’t believe God tests his people. I completely disagree. Did not God test Job? Did He not test Moses? Gideon? Jonathan…even Jesus was tested. I think perhaps we need to redefine what we mean by testing and the idea of God testing us. I know some are going to push back on me a bit here and that’s cool. This is, after all, my opinion.
Perhaps I should rephrase what I mean here; God is allowing me to go through some things so that I may be tested. See, I believe that He comes to us, takes us through things so that we may grow. We need to go through fire to grow closer to Him, to realize our need for Him. We need delayed gratification on things so that we may learn dependence. Our problem is that we seem to think this is all about us. How far from the truth could we possibly be? We are so ego-centric!
James 1:2-8. Check this out. “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.” (The Message)
The first time I read this I was like ‘what?!’. In the New Living Translation, verse 2 says when troubles come our way to “consider it an opportunity for great joy.” The more I thought about this and talked to God about it, the more I realized this is about attitude. It takes a complete shift in our thinking to find joy in troubles, opportunities in suffering. I love the way The Message puts it by saying “your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” Maybe that’s the real problem. Our true character gets forced into the open when we go through problems. Then, the real you comes out.
Ouch.
I was in the grocery store this weekend. As I was walking down an aisle, I saw a mother and her children coming toward me. One of the children was clearly unhappy about something. Apparently, from hearing what he was whining about, he wasn’t getting what he wanted. I just sort of stood there and watched while this child threw himself on the floor and pitched a fit, thrashing around and screaming because he wasn’t getting his way. Needless to say, it was obviously embarrassing for the mother and I wanted to wring the little brat’s neck.
How often do we do the same thing with God? Seriously. We whine and gripe and moan because something doesn’t go our way. We find ourselves stuck in a situation that is, more likely than not, of our own making. Then we ask for Him to save us from it. And He doesn’t. Or He says ‘wait awhile’ or tells us something else we don’t want to hear. So, what do we do? We throw ourselves on the floor and pitch a fit. Are we to take only the “good” from Him and not the “bad” also? Why can’t we just accept the fact that we are being shaped, molded? Why can’t we just allow the situation to play itself out so that our character is molded to be more like Him?
I am chief among those like this. I have found myself in a work situation that I was unhappy about for some time now. I begged God to get me out of this situation, to change my surroundings. He told me to wait. I pitched several fits. Lucky for me, He is patient.
Here’s the point, I think, of all this blabbering I’m doing. He kept me here to shape my character. He kept me here to show me how much I need Him because, without Him, I cannot do this. I am learning, albeit very slowly, that I need Him every day, in every situation. There are no compartments to life. There is only life with Him or without Him. This I can promise you: if we will hold on to Him, consult Him and listen to Him in every situation of life, He will show you what must be done. It might not be on your timetable or the way you think it should be handled. Then again, who are we to question the Creator of all?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Whisper
Cold...
Your touch burns,
scarring my soul
in its passing.
'Come to Me,'
the whisper in my heart,
'rest, Peace,
true meaning you will find.'
You never told me it would hurt,
tear my heart,
shred my soul.
Raging at the pain,
questioning my surrender,
baring teeth,
shaking fists,
weeping for the death of me,
i flail and scream!
Then, Your hand touches mine,
Your arms hold me close.
Love pours over me,
filling wounds self-inflicted,
weeping with the gratitude
of anguish taken.
'I love you,'
the whisper shouts in my heart,
'Let Me show you how...'
Your touch burns,
scarring my soul
in its passing.
'Come to Me,'
the whisper in my heart,
'rest, Peace,
true meaning you will find.'
You never told me it would hurt,
tear my heart,
shred my soul.
Raging at the pain,
questioning my surrender,
baring teeth,
shaking fists,
weeping for the death of me,
i flail and scream!
Then, Your hand touches mine,
Your arms hold me close.
Love pours over me,
filling wounds self-inflicted,
weeping with the gratitude
of anguish taken.
'I love you,'
the whisper shouts in my heart,
'Let Me show you how...'
Monday, February 8, 2010
Follow
Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!” In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.
Job 1:20-22, NLT
There are prayers that are very dangerous prayers, I’m learning. There is a desire that can be awakened in us that is dangerous. I know, I’ve prayed some of those prayers, felt those desires. And there is pain involved. Sacrifice. Surrender.
Awhile back, something in me was awakened. I began to feel His presence in my life in a very real way. I began to realize that He was pursuing me, loving me, changing me. I began to pray some dangerous prayers. I didn’t know they were dangerous at the time. It’s just what I felt like I had to do. I prayed that I would know Him more, grow closer to Him. I said, “I just want to be where You are, Lord. I want to give all to You. I will follow if You lead.”
Let me just warn you of something here. When you pray something like that, you had better be prepared for what comes next. See, God doesn’t want you halfway. He doesn’t want your version of love. He doesn’t want your version of sacrifice. He doesn’t want your version of all of you.
God wants all of you. He wants to show you what real love is. He wants to show you how to sacrifice who you are on the altar of faith, to surrender all to Him. He wants all.
The story of Job is a brutal, powerful story of the love of God and the faithfulness of one man. These verses are some of the most painful verses in the entire Bible for me. Job has just had his whole world taken from him, his heart crushed, his soul shattered with grief and loss. His children are all dead, his entire wealth and worldly possessions are gone, his health is stolen from him. How does he react?
He worships. He falls on his face at the feet of the Creator and blesses His name. Surrenders to His will.
I have to be honest here. I didn’t understand this until recently. See, when I began to seek the heart of God, I knew intellectually that there might be some sacrifice involved, some pain. You know that old expression ‘this might hurt a little’? Well, there is no might. It will.
I began to pray those dangerous prayers.
Lord, use me.
Lord, Your will be done.
Lord, I want to know You more.
Lord, I want to follow You.
Lord, I trust You.
Help me to trust You more.
How could I know that He was actually going to take some things away from me so that I could prove my trust? How could I have known that He was going to make me put my money where my mouth was? Then again, I should have known. I should have known that Jesus wouldn’t take no for an answer.
The thing about Jesus that drives so many people away is that He wants all of us. Not some. Not a piece. All. Think with me of the story of the rich young ruler (see Matthew 19, Mark 10, Luke 18). This dude came to Jesus with a question. After answering the guy’s question, Jesus got to the heart of the matter. The first thing Jesus did, according to Mark 10, was to feel “genuine love” for him. Then, Jesus hit the guy with the truth. He told him that following the commandments wasn’t enough. Jesus told the guy he was going to have to surrender all to follow. The truth, and real love, hurt in this instance.
In another instance, a guy says to Jesus ‘hey, I’ll go with you but let me go bury my dead father’. Jesus’ response? “Let the dead bury the dead” (Matt. 8:22). That sounds a little harsh to us, right? Then again, in Luke 9, there is a story of a guy that wants to say goodbye to his family before going off on the road with Jesus. Jesus’ response? “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62).
This is a little harsh for us in the “modern world”, I think. See, here’s the problem. Somewhere along the way, we’ve convinced ourselves that being a believer in God, a “Christian”, means that it’s gonna be all good, hunky dory in our lives. We’re not really going to have to give anything up right? That stuff only happens in the Bible, right? Jesus didn’t mean that we’re really going to have to surrender anything, right?
Wrong.
Jesus, if you notice, is not exactly a half-way sorta guy. He didn’t say He was going make everything warm and fuzzy. He didn’t say we weren’t going to have problems. He didn’t say give me this and you get that. No. He said give me all. There is no half-way. In the words of Yoda, “There is no try. Do or do not.” Either we follow or we don’t. Sometimes, following means that He may take some things away from us to teach us dependence on Him, to remove those things between us and Him. Sometimes He has to remind us that it’s not ours anyway. Sometimes He has to remind you to count the cost.
Sometimes He might throw you in the deep end to see if you’ll try to swim on your own or reach for Him. Sometimes the lights go out cause He wants to see what the despair of darkness brings out in you. It’s called love and sometimes it hurts.
That pain is good for you. It grows your character and strengthens your dependence on Him. If this was easy, we wouldn’t need Him.
Job 1:20-22, NLT
There are prayers that are very dangerous prayers, I’m learning. There is a desire that can be awakened in us that is dangerous. I know, I’ve prayed some of those prayers, felt those desires. And there is pain involved. Sacrifice. Surrender.
Awhile back, something in me was awakened. I began to feel His presence in my life in a very real way. I began to realize that He was pursuing me, loving me, changing me. I began to pray some dangerous prayers. I didn’t know they were dangerous at the time. It’s just what I felt like I had to do. I prayed that I would know Him more, grow closer to Him. I said, “I just want to be where You are, Lord. I want to give all to You. I will follow if You lead.”
Let me just warn you of something here. When you pray something like that, you had better be prepared for what comes next. See, God doesn’t want you halfway. He doesn’t want your version of love. He doesn’t want your version of sacrifice. He doesn’t want your version of all of you.
God wants all of you. He wants to show you what real love is. He wants to show you how to sacrifice who you are on the altar of faith, to surrender all to Him. He wants all.
The story of Job is a brutal, powerful story of the love of God and the faithfulness of one man. These verses are some of the most painful verses in the entire Bible for me. Job has just had his whole world taken from him, his heart crushed, his soul shattered with grief and loss. His children are all dead, his entire wealth and worldly possessions are gone, his health is stolen from him. How does he react?
He worships. He falls on his face at the feet of the Creator and blesses His name. Surrenders to His will.
I have to be honest here. I didn’t understand this until recently. See, when I began to seek the heart of God, I knew intellectually that there might be some sacrifice involved, some pain. You know that old expression ‘this might hurt a little’? Well, there is no might. It will.
I began to pray those dangerous prayers.
Lord, use me.
Lord, Your will be done.
Lord, I want to know You more.
Lord, I want to follow You.
Lord, I trust You.
Help me to trust You more.
How could I know that He was actually going to take some things away from me so that I could prove my trust? How could I have known that He was going to make me put my money where my mouth was? Then again, I should have known. I should have known that Jesus wouldn’t take no for an answer.
The thing about Jesus that drives so many people away is that He wants all of us. Not some. Not a piece. All. Think with me of the story of the rich young ruler (see Matthew 19, Mark 10, Luke 18). This dude came to Jesus with a question. After answering the guy’s question, Jesus got to the heart of the matter. The first thing Jesus did, according to Mark 10, was to feel “genuine love” for him. Then, Jesus hit the guy with the truth. He told him that following the commandments wasn’t enough. Jesus told the guy he was going to have to surrender all to follow. The truth, and real love, hurt in this instance.
In another instance, a guy says to Jesus ‘hey, I’ll go with you but let me go bury my dead father’. Jesus’ response? “Let the dead bury the dead” (Matt. 8:22). That sounds a little harsh to us, right? Then again, in Luke 9, there is a story of a guy that wants to say goodbye to his family before going off on the road with Jesus. Jesus’ response? “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62).
This is a little harsh for us in the “modern world”, I think. See, here’s the problem. Somewhere along the way, we’ve convinced ourselves that being a believer in God, a “Christian”, means that it’s gonna be all good, hunky dory in our lives. We’re not really going to have to give anything up right? That stuff only happens in the Bible, right? Jesus didn’t mean that we’re really going to have to surrender anything, right?
Wrong.
Jesus, if you notice, is not exactly a half-way sorta guy. He didn’t say He was going make everything warm and fuzzy. He didn’t say we weren’t going to have problems. He didn’t say give me this and you get that. No. He said give me all. There is no half-way. In the words of Yoda, “There is no try. Do or do not.” Either we follow or we don’t. Sometimes, following means that He may take some things away from us to teach us dependence on Him, to remove those things between us and Him. Sometimes He has to remind us that it’s not ours anyway. Sometimes He has to remind you to count the cost.
Sometimes He might throw you in the deep end to see if you’ll try to swim on your own or reach for Him. Sometimes the lights go out cause He wants to see what the despair of darkness brings out in you. It’s called love and sometimes it hurts.
That pain is good for you. It grows your character and strengthens your dependence on Him. If this was easy, we wouldn’t need Him.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Let Go
Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved – the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, “Lord, who will betray you?” Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”
- John 21:20-22, NLT
Ever notice how Jesus has a way of getting right to the point? One of the things that is so painful about Jesus and yet I love is that He just cuts right to the chase, right to the heart of the matter. Some quick background on this passage. This little scene takes place after Jesus has already risen from the grave and found the disciples fishing. After they have a little breakfast, this conversation ensues.
Do you ever feel like you’re in the middle of a situation that you just want out of? I’ve been in those places. Whatever the situation is, it has left a sour taste in your mouth and you just wanna bail. Insert your name and situation here.
I love this exchange between Peter and Jesus. Peter is probably one of my favorite biblical characters. He was so brash and petulant at times. Kind of like me. Kind of like all of us at times. Peter gets backed into a corner during this conversation and clearly doesn’t like it very much. I don’t particularly enjoy it when Jesus backs me into a corner either.
Peter does what I do in this situation. He starts looking around for something else to focus on or someone else to blame. See, Jesus’ focus is on Peter and Peter’s heart. This is quite obviously uncomfortable for Peter. He starts looking around for a way to change the subject, change the focus. So, he points out John. It’s usually uncomfortable for me when Jesus focuses on me as well.
Jesus’ words to Peter are really challenging for me. It’s challenging because it pierces right to my heart. See, when the conversation began, I sort of picture it as Jesus and Peter sitting on the beach around the fire. The other disciples are cleaning the nets and just kind of relaxing. Jesus looks at Peter and, with love and sadness dripping from his words, asks him three times if he loves Him. Peter is clearly disturbed by this and answers ‘yes’ three times, albeit with a little attitude. Each time, Jesus has a specific command for Peter. So, Peter, being the brash, impatient, petulant dude he is, looks around for a way to change the subject. It’s at this point, if I’m Jesus, I wanna slap Peter. I’d be saying, ‘Dude, didn’t you just get through denying me? What’s it gonna take for you to listen to Me?’
But Jesus doesn’t do that. He simply says ‘Hey, you let me worry about that (being John), Peter. You just focus on Me’. See, this is hard for Peter. He’s looking for something to help him out here.
It’s really hard for me as well. When I’m in the middle of somewhere I don’t want to be, I look around for something else too, something or someone to take that focus off of me. I’ve had this very conversation with Jesus before.
He says to me, ‘Do you love Me?’
‘Of course I love you, Jesus’.
He just looks at me with that soft smile on His face and love in His eyes. ‘Then, give it to me.’
He says, ‘Do you know that I love you?’
Now I’m getting a bit uncomfortable under His gaze. So, I squirm a bit and say, ‘Of course, Lord, I know you love me.’
Now He has tears in His eyes. ‘Then, give it to me.’
As my frustration begins to grow and I wonder what this is about, He asks, ‘Do you trust me?’
And now I am leveled, pierced by His question and the love He shows. Hanging my head, I know I cannot lie. ‘I don’t know, Lord.’
He reaches out and embraces me. His words are a whisper, yet crashes like thunder in my heart. ‘Then give it to me. I won’t hurt you. I died for you. Trust me.’
See, Jesus is saying to me and to you, ‘Hey, I have you right where I want you right now. I put you here, let me handle this.’ This is sometimes not a fun experience for me or for you, I suspect. I don’t always enjoy where He has me. I am learning, however, that He’s less interested in my comfort than in my character, my heart.
The real question is not whether we are comfortable with where we are. The real question is: do we trust Him? Do we trust the heart of God? It’s a hard question for me as well. We trust Him with our salvation, right? Or do we try to earn our own salvation through “being good”? We trust Him with our money, right? Or do we try to control and keep what is not even ours? We trust Him with our families, right?
Or do we?
The challenge is trust. This is a really hard one for me. I get graspy with God sometimes. What I mean is, when I give Him something, I tend to want to take it back when things don’t go my way. The challenge is to trust that He who created all loves you.
He loves you. His heart for you is good. So what difference does it make what He does with what He gives? It’s His anyway. Let it go. Trust that He is sovereign. Trust His love. It’s not up to us anyway.
Let it go.
- John 21:20-22, NLT
Ever notice how Jesus has a way of getting right to the point? One of the things that is so painful about Jesus and yet I love is that He just cuts right to the chase, right to the heart of the matter. Some quick background on this passage. This little scene takes place after Jesus has already risen from the grave and found the disciples fishing. After they have a little breakfast, this conversation ensues.
Do you ever feel like you’re in the middle of a situation that you just want out of? I’ve been in those places. Whatever the situation is, it has left a sour taste in your mouth and you just wanna bail. Insert your name and situation here.
I love this exchange between Peter and Jesus. Peter is probably one of my favorite biblical characters. He was so brash and petulant at times. Kind of like me. Kind of like all of us at times. Peter gets backed into a corner during this conversation and clearly doesn’t like it very much. I don’t particularly enjoy it when Jesus backs me into a corner either.
Peter does what I do in this situation. He starts looking around for something else to focus on or someone else to blame. See, Jesus’ focus is on Peter and Peter’s heart. This is quite obviously uncomfortable for Peter. He starts looking around for a way to change the subject, change the focus. So, he points out John. It’s usually uncomfortable for me when Jesus focuses on me as well.
Jesus’ words to Peter are really challenging for me. It’s challenging because it pierces right to my heart. See, when the conversation began, I sort of picture it as Jesus and Peter sitting on the beach around the fire. The other disciples are cleaning the nets and just kind of relaxing. Jesus looks at Peter and, with love and sadness dripping from his words, asks him three times if he loves Him. Peter is clearly disturbed by this and answers ‘yes’ three times, albeit with a little attitude. Each time, Jesus has a specific command for Peter. So, Peter, being the brash, impatient, petulant dude he is, looks around for a way to change the subject. It’s at this point, if I’m Jesus, I wanna slap Peter. I’d be saying, ‘Dude, didn’t you just get through denying me? What’s it gonna take for you to listen to Me?’
But Jesus doesn’t do that. He simply says ‘Hey, you let me worry about that (being John), Peter. You just focus on Me’. See, this is hard for Peter. He’s looking for something to help him out here.
It’s really hard for me as well. When I’m in the middle of somewhere I don’t want to be, I look around for something else too, something or someone to take that focus off of me. I’ve had this very conversation with Jesus before.
He says to me, ‘Do you love Me?’
‘Of course I love you, Jesus’.
He just looks at me with that soft smile on His face and love in His eyes. ‘Then, give it to me.’
He says, ‘Do you know that I love you?’
Now I’m getting a bit uncomfortable under His gaze. So, I squirm a bit and say, ‘Of course, Lord, I know you love me.’
Now He has tears in His eyes. ‘Then, give it to me.’
As my frustration begins to grow and I wonder what this is about, He asks, ‘Do you trust me?’
And now I am leveled, pierced by His question and the love He shows. Hanging my head, I know I cannot lie. ‘I don’t know, Lord.’
He reaches out and embraces me. His words are a whisper, yet crashes like thunder in my heart. ‘Then give it to me. I won’t hurt you. I died for you. Trust me.’
See, Jesus is saying to me and to you, ‘Hey, I have you right where I want you right now. I put you here, let me handle this.’ This is sometimes not a fun experience for me or for you, I suspect. I don’t always enjoy where He has me. I am learning, however, that He’s less interested in my comfort than in my character, my heart.
The real question is not whether we are comfortable with where we are. The real question is: do we trust Him? Do we trust the heart of God? It’s a hard question for me as well. We trust Him with our salvation, right? Or do we try to earn our own salvation through “being good”? We trust Him with our money, right? Or do we try to control and keep what is not even ours? We trust Him with our families, right?
Or do we?
The challenge is trust. This is a really hard one for me. I get graspy with God sometimes. What I mean is, when I give Him something, I tend to want to take it back when things don’t go my way. The challenge is to trust that He who created all loves you.
He loves you. His heart for you is good. So what difference does it make what He does with what He gives? It’s His anyway. Let it go. Trust that He is sovereign. Trust His love. It’s not up to us anyway.
Let it go.
Untamed Faith
You cannot meet the Creator of the universe and remain the same. If the God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present comes to dwell within your soul, you would expect at least some minor disruption. I think there’s a problem when people talk about meeting God or knowing God and yet remain unchanged by God. When the Creator comes to dwell within His creation, there is transformation. If Jesus has come to dwell within you, you are no longer suited for a normal life.
To have the Spirit of God dwelling within the heart of someone who chooses a domesticated faith is like having a tiger trapped within a cage. You are not intended to be a spiritual zoo where people can look at God in you from a safe distance. You are a jungle where the Spirit roams wild and free in your life. You are the recipient of the God who cannot be tamed and of a faith that must not be tamed. You are no longer a prisoner of time and space, but a citizen of the kingdom of God – a resident of the barbarian tribe. God is not a sedative that keeps you calm and under control by dulling your senses. He does quite the opposite. He awakens your spirit to be truly alive.
- Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way
To have the Spirit of God dwelling within the heart of someone who chooses a domesticated faith is like having a tiger trapped within a cage. You are not intended to be a spiritual zoo where people can look at God in you from a safe distance. You are a jungle where the Spirit roams wild and free in your life. You are the recipient of the God who cannot be tamed and of a faith that must not be tamed. You are no longer a prisoner of time and space, but a citizen of the kingdom of God – a resident of the barbarian tribe. God is not a sedative that keeps you calm and under control by dulling your senses. He does quite the opposite. He awakens your spirit to be truly alive.
- Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way
Friday, January 29, 2010
Transformed
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
-Paul, Romans 12:2
As time goes on and this journey of renewal He has me on continues, I am drawn more and more into Him. Away from other things. Some have heard me talk about my past before; all the booze, the partying, the women. What a waste of time it all was, how empty it all turned out to be!
All those years of drowning out the voice of God, His whisper in my heart left me cold, broken and empty. How much time I wasted! Some have said to me, “Well, you learned a lot about yourself.”
Yes, I did. I learned that my heart is dark away from Him. I learned that sin is very alluring. I learned that Satan is much more real than many people want to think or believe. What is truly shocking to me is how many of those who claim to be “Christians” don’t seem to understand what’s really going on. They don’t seem to want to accept the fact that evil is very real and is coming for us all. Satan hates you and there is a real hell; both now and later.
Hell is real to the junkie on the corner tormented by the demon of heroin. Hell is real to the drunk taking one last drink for the night, hoping this is the one that will finally drown the pain. Hell is real to the porn addict whose lust is never satisfied. Hell is real for me and was real for me. I lived there for awhile. And I hated myself for every single second I spent there. And Satan was happy. He had taken me out.
Then, something happened. I met a man named Jesus, who is the Son of God. He showed up one day and spoke love into my heart. Whispered freedom into my shattered soul. The sun began to shine again. He helped me crawl out of that bottle and showed me that I didn’t need booze and sex to prop myself up. He showed me that He had forgiven me and I didn’t have to hate myself anymore. He pushed into my heart and said He didn’t hate me either and I was forgiven, free.
Then, He showed me a book He had written for me. His word, spoken through the ages to shout truth from the mountaintops, whisper love into the dark hearts of men, beat back the king of liars.
And my heart began to change.
Then, He brought others around me to lift me up, to challenge me, help me grow and walk with me. Oh, I still fall down sometimes. But when I’m lying face down in the dirt, He lifts me up with a smile on His face and together we embrace the road ahead.
I look back now and I don’t even know the man back there. That lost, lonely, bitter boy crying out for love is a shadow. He has changed me by showing me truth in His word, obedience in my life and a love I cannot possibly fathom or repay.
Know this, fellow travelers and broken people. He will transform you into a new person, give you a new heart. Then you will look back on that darkness and know: that is not you anymore!! He has made you new and is making you new by His power in your heart!!
-Paul, Romans 12:2
As time goes on and this journey of renewal He has me on continues, I am drawn more and more into Him. Away from other things. Some have heard me talk about my past before; all the booze, the partying, the women. What a waste of time it all was, how empty it all turned out to be!
All those years of drowning out the voice of God, His whisper in my heart left me cold, broken and empty. How much time I wasted! Some have said to me, “Well, you learned a lot about yourself.”
Yes, I did. I learned that my heart is dark away from Him. I learned that sin is very alluring. I learned that Satan is much more real than many people want to think or believe. What is truly shocking to me is how many of those who claim to be “Christians” don’t seem to understand what’s really going on. They don’t seem to want to accept the fact that evil is very real and is coming for us all. Satan hates you and there is a real hell; both now and later.
Hell is real to the junkie on the corner tormented by the demon of heroin. Hell is real to the drunk taking one last drink for the night, hoping this is the one that will finally drown the pain. Hell is real to the porn addict whose lust is never satisfied. Hell is real for me and was real for me. I lived there for awhile. And I hated myself for every single second I spent there. And Satan was happy. He had taken me out.
Then, something happened. I met a man named Jesus, who is the Son of God. He showed up one day and spoke love into my heart. Whispered freedom into my shattered soul. The sun began to shine again. He helped me crawl out of that bottle and showed me that I didn’t need booze and sex to prop myself up. He showed me that He had forgiven me and I didn’t have to hate myself anymore. He pushed into my heart and said He didn’t hate me either and I was forgiven, free.
Then, He showed me a book He had written for me. His word, spoken through the ages to shout truth from the mountaintops, whisper love into the dark hearts of men, beat back the king of liars.
And my heart began to change.
Then, He brought others around me to lift me up, to challenge me, help me grow and walk with me. Oh, I still fall down sometimes. But when I’m lying face down in the dirt, He lifts me up with a smile on His face and together we embrace the road ahead.
I look back now and I don’t even know the man back there. That lost, lonely, bitter boy crying out for love is a shadow. He has changed me by showing me truth in His word, obedience in my life and a love I cannot possibly fathom or repay.
Know this, fellow travelers and broken people. He will transform you into a new person, give you a new heart. Then you will look back on that darkness and know: that is not you anymore!! He has made you new and is making you new by His power in your heart!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Glory
“I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.”
- Jesus, John 17:22-23
I meet with a group of men every Tuesday night. We call it “Man Church”. I love these men. We’re all just trying to walk the path, travel the journey that God has us on. So, last night, one of the guys (Brad) points out these verses. The more I read this, the more it blows my mind and stretches my heart.
These are the words of Jesus in a prayer to His Father, in the presence of His disciples. Let me say that again; these are the words of Jesus. So, read that again. Now read it one more time. Let this soak into you really good here. Seriously, stop reading and just think about this, meditate on it for however long it takes.
Jesus says that God loves you as much as He loves his own son. Do you feel that? God loves you as much as He loves Jesus!! Wow. Let’s just break this down a bit here.
Ok, first of all, Jesus says that He has given us the same glory that God gave Him. Did you hear that?! If we have a relationship with Christ, if we are living with Him, we have the same glory that He has! We are living with the glory of Jesus in our lives!
Why? According to this passage, so that we can be one with the Father. Think about this for a minute. The God who created all that is, has been or ever will be, the God of all galaxies, the God who existed before time itself wants to give you the glory of Jesus so that you can be one with Him!! Stop again and just dwell on that for a minute or ten minutes or however long it takes.
So what is the glory of Jesus? Well, in my opinion, the glory of Jesus was that He lived a life of complete surrender and unity with God. Jesus could not live apart from the Father. His very life, breath and sustenance were to be one with the Father, to do the will of the Father. The glory of Jesus was that He who is God came down to us as the ultimate sacrifice for us and for sin because that’s what God said had to happen. Jesus lived a perfect life of perfect unity with the Father to show us how to live. And we, according to Jesus, have that glory in us if we know the Father, if we know Jesus!!
Then Jesus says something incredible, mind boggling; I’m running out of adjectives to describe what it is. “…you love them as much as you love me.” Stop what you’re doing and read that again…dwell on that, meditate on it. Let it soak into your bones, your very soul.
See, Jesus is God, is a part of God that you and I can never be. Jesus is the Son. Jesus is the reason this whole thing is happening. Jesus is God’s answer for all the ugliness, all the sin that entered the world at the Garden of Eden. Jesus is the answer, the only answer for salvation. God loves us so much that He sacrificed His own Son, a very piece of Himself, to save us. And He loves us just as much as He loves His own Son, as much as He loves Himself.
I’m not even sure if we can even believe this, if we can even begin to grasp this. The implications of this kind of love is staggering; it tears at your heart and soul until you are brought to your knees in humility and worship for the Creator of all that has been, all that is and all that will be.
When your world seems dark and the daily bothers and pain of your life seem overwhelming, think on this. When you are having a ‘bad day’ or you decided you don’t want to serve or be grateful or your family makes you nuts or whatever, think on this.
God loves you as much as He loves His own Son!! His love for you will never die because He is eternal. His love for you will never die because His very existence, His person is love. How can we not throw ourselves weeping with joy and surrender into His arms, kneel at the feet of the God of all, the God who loves us without expectations or condition?!
- Jesus, John 17:22-23
I meet with a group of men every Tuesday night. We call it “Man Church”. I love these men. We’re all just trying to walk the path, travel the journey that God has us on. So, last night, one of the guys (Brad) points out these verses. The more I read this, the more it blows my mind and stretches my heart.
These are the words of Jesus in a prayer to His Father, in the presence of His disciples. Let me say that again; these are the words of Jesus. So, read that again. Now read it one more time. Let this soak into you really good here. Seriously, stop reading and just think about this, meditate on it for however long it takes.
Jesus says that God loves you as much as He loves his own son. Do you feel that? God loves you as much as He loves Jesus!! Wow. Let’s just break this down a bit here.
Ok, first of all, Jesus says that He has given us the same glory that God gave Him. Did you hear that?! If we have a relationship with Christ, if we are living with Him, we have the same glory that He has! We are living with the glory of Jesus in our lives!
Why? According to this passage, so that we can be one with the Father. Think about this for a minute. The God who created all that is, has been or ever will be, the God of all galaxies, the God who existed before time itself wants to give you the glory of Jesus so that you can be one with Him!! Stop again and just dwell on that for a minute or ten minutes or however long it takes.
So what is the glory of Jesus? Well, in my opinion, the glory of Jesus was that He lived a life of complete surrender and unity with God. Jesus could not live apart from the Father. His very life, breath and sustenance were to be one with the Father, to do the will of the Father. The glory of Jesus was that He who is God came down to us as the ultimate sacrifice for us and for sin because that’s what God said had to happen. Jesus lived a perfect life of perfect unity with the Father to show us how to live. And we, according to Jesus, have that glory in us if we know the Father, if we know Jesus!!
Then Jesus says something incredible, mind boggling; I’m running out of adjectives to describe what it is. “…you love them as much as you love me.” Stop what you’re doing and read that again…dwell on that, meditate on it. Let it soak into your bones, your very soul.
See, Jesus is God, is a part of God that you and I can never be. Jesus is the Son. Jesus is the reason this whole thing is happening. Jesus is God’s answer for all the ugliness, all the sin that entered the world at the Garden of Eden. Jesus is the answer, the only answer for salvation. God loves us so much that He sacrificed His own Son, a very piece of Himself, to save us. And He loves us just as much as He loves His own Son, as much as He loves Himself.
I’m not even sure if we can even believe this, if we can even begin to grasp this. The implications of this kind of love is staggering; it tears at your heart and soul until you are brought to your knees in humility and worship for the Creator of all that has been, all that is and all that will be.
When your world seems dark and the daily bothers and pain of your life seem overwhelming, think on this. When you are having a ‘bad day’ or you decided you don’t want to serve or be grateful or your family makes you nuts or whatever, think on this.
God loves you as much as He loves His own Son!! His love for you will never die because He is eternal. His love for you will never die because His very existence, His person is love. How can we not throw ourselves weeping with joy and surrender into His arms, kneel at the feet of the God of all, the God who loves us without expectations or condition?!
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