Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I am in the process of rereading a book by Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way. I am moved, blown away, astounded by what this book makes me feel…again. I feel this call pounding on my soul, chanting to my heart, “Follow Me.” How can I not follow? How can I choose the easy way? How can I not surrender to the burning desire to hear the drumbeats of war, to give all for Someone? The more I think about Jesus, the more I read His words, the more time I spend with Him…it takes my breath away, calls me to something more.I was meeting with a group of men the other night; fellow seekers all, warriors. One of them asked me, “I’m curious about something. You’ve very publicly ‘outed yourself’ as a believer. You’ve been seemingly unafraid to put it out there. Do you feel pressure, knowing that everyone is watching you now?” I found myself smiling and saying, “Isn’t that the point? To be a marked man! Of course it scares me…and I love it! All I know is that He told me to do something and I’m doing it. The end is not up to me.” And, just to be clear, I am scared. I’m scared that I will fall flat on my face in a very public way. I’m the one out here running my mouth, setting myself up as a target. And, I can’t help it…I don’t wanna help it! I’m tired of being safe…and dead. I burn to live for something greater than “life”, Something bigger than me. I feel this life I’ve been called to more powerfully than anything I’ve felt in a long, long time. As McManus said, “A world without God cannot wait for us to choose the safe path.”I seek a revolution of my heart and soul and I feel it!! Jesus said we would find Him when we seek with all our hearts for Him, when we knock and ask. He gave one penetrating command, “Follow Me.” I’m learning to love hard commands because it demands everything I am. What greater call on my life can I live out than one that demands all for the sake of One who gave all? What is the point of believing in something that costs me nothing?One of my favorite lines in ‘The Return of the King’ is when Eowyn says to Aragorn, “The men have found their captain. They will follow you into battle, even to death. You have given us hope.” You see, I have found my Captain. I will follow Him into battle, even to death. He has given me hope!