Have you ever been held? This last weekend, I experienced something that has changed my life. I came face-to-face with the Creator of the world and now nothing will ever be the same. I spent a weekend at a retreat for men to "reconnect or discover" a new way of living out who we are. I was brought to my knees by my Father asking me why I am hiding who I am behind a facade. I was deeply convicted by this. I am a son of the living God and its time to start living like it. I'm not talking about starchy collars and walking around singing hymnals, I'm talking about authentic faith that changes the world. I have been a believer and Christ follower for a long time but only over the last five or six years has Christ become real to me. Yet, I have been hiding my true identity as a son of God for fear of what others will say/think of me.Among several other experiences, I want to share one in particular. Sunday morning of the retreat, we were closing the weekend with a final meeting. We were invited to participate in something. A song would be played for us and we were asked to spend that time (3-4 minutes) alone with God, to worship as we saw fit, to raise our hands..or not..but to worship at the feet of our Maker. I have never been comfortable with this, I must admit. I'm not sure why..again, a facade perhaps, posing, pretending to be "tough". But, I thought, 'what's the worst that could happen here'? As the music began, I closed my eyes and prayed that God would speak and I felt...oh, how I felt! There have been two other times in my life when I felt the physical presence of God. Sunday was number three. I lifted my hands and I felt...when we were children, we would hold our arms open to our parents; "Hold me, Daddy", we would say. Sunday, I was a small child again, holding my arms open to my Father to say, 'Hold me, Daddy'. And, He held me...
One day I awoke
to find You holding me.
Fear, shame, regret
poured bitter tears from my eyes;
Begging for forgiveness, shattered...
Swept away by the crashing
Light, clawing back to darkness...
You spoke, holding my face,
bleeding Your love from
Pristine wounds; Weeping joy,
laughter into my soul,
tearing the fiber of understanding.
and I am humbled,held, Loved..